Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
