how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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