How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize