This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
