i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
