Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
