He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
