In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
