my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
