I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
