How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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