you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
