I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
