Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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