do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
