i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize