I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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