I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize