Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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