The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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