I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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