so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
