No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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