Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will be naked everywhere
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
