There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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