Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
