i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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