Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
