Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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