Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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