Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
