Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
