wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize