just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
