Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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