just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
