I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize