Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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