did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things šš
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You couldnāt remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders āunlimited hand frittersā if they wouldnāt cut you off.
Randomize
