well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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