So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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