weddingsv make me drug and hornr
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
