im drinking this country out of the recession.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
