if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
