I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
