Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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