New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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