we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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