life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do vagina's smell?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
