He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
