if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
