dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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