this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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