just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
