the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
