READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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