I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize