I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
