I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
