lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
