The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i need some magic done to my vagina
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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