OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
