bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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