he shaved USA in his pubs
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Every concussion has its silver lining
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize