i may or may not be watching the land before time
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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