I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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