The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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