My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
