you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
